Hi people,
It has been a long time since I wrote for my last blog, before I hopelessly falling deep to laziness to write any and delete all my old blogs. As usual, nothing interesting here, just pouring whatever from my brain and heart.
Well, I am thinking to start a new fresh blog and with nowadays technology, it is much easier to update, by means, no need for laptop, a tablet will do.
Yes, I am having a lot of difficulties today, it is so hard for me and I cannot breath properly. Every time I hesitate for a second, my heart beat raised and cause me afraid, scared, nervous, nausea and everything. Truthfully, I got my result for this semester examination and the grades are so bad even I cannot admit it myself. I tried to think positively if by chance, they were wrong when key in the data, but I guess not. I failed one paper which is a shock truth for me. My entire life, I never failed in examinations, not even one, but this time, I failed. I wonder, what did I do to get those results mostly less than 70% in grade. I wonder, if this is a punishment for me, for not taking everything seriously and having fun all the time. Yeah, normally people always said they were having a lot of fun whenever their grades all low. I did having fun, as I remembered, the 'fun' that I had were all at the same level from previous semesters. I am speechless.
I am not going to blame everyone for now, I don't have anyone around me. I know it is my fault, having all those things happened right in front of my eyes. I just felt embarrassed with people and myself. How should I tell people about this whenever they ask. I believe, everything that happen must have reasons. As for now, I will keep thinking and thinking until I reflect myself.
It has been a long time since I wrote for my last blog, before I hopelessly falling deep to laziness to write any and delete all my old blogs. As usual, nothing interesting here, just pouring whatever from my brain and heart.
Well, I am thinking to start a new fresh blog and with nowadays technology, it is much easier to update, by means, no need for laptop, a tablet will do.
Yes, I am having a lot of difficulties today, it is so hard for me and I cannot breath properly. Every time I hesitate for a second, my heart beat raised and cause me afraid, scared, nervous, nausea and everything. Truthfully, I got my result for this semester examination and the grades are so bad even I cannot admit it myself. I tried to think positively if by chance, they were wrong when key in the data, but I guess not. I failed one paper which is a shock truth for me. My entire life, I never failed in examinations, not even one, but this time, I failed. I wonder, what did I do to get those results mostly less than 70% in grade. I wonder, if this is a punishment for me, for not taking everything seriously and having fun all the time. Yeah, normally people always said they were having a lot of fun whenever their grades all low. I did having fun, as I remembered, the 'fun' that I had were all at the same level from previous semesters. I am speechless.
I am not going to blame everyone for now, I don't have anyone around me. I know it is my fault, having all those things happened right in front of my eyes. I just felt embarrassed with people and myself. How should I tell people about this whenever they ask. I believe, everything that happen must have reasons. As for now, I will keep thinking and thinking until I reflect myself.
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